How to Be a Lightning Rod and ‘Ground’ Guest Negativity

Douglas Kennedy
2/11/2025

As part of our pre-training preparations for vacation rental clients, I get to look at the various service recovery training that our clients have in place, and I find they nearly always focus on showing empathy and apologizing. The ability to empathize is a big component of emotional intelligence and is surely a good quality to look for in candidates for guest-facing jobs. No doubt, showing sincere empathy before offering an apology helps defuse tense guest encounters, whereas a lack of empathy and a scripted apology can ignite guests’ anger.

But there’s another concept that is all too often left out of training on handling difficult guest encounters, which is developing coping skills to maintain emotional well-being.

As those of us who started our careers working in front-line positions know, when you engage with dozens or more guests per day, you are certainly bound to encounter your fair share of difficult ones. In our workshops, we remind everyone that you will likewise encounter about the same number of super nice, exceptionally kind, patient guests as well.

Yet the negative, pessimistic guests, and especially the mean-spirited bullies, can take their toll on our staff. Those who have been selected by pre-employment testing and the interview process for high emotional intelligence can be especially vulnerable, leading to burnout, cynicism, and turnover. Ultimately, badly needed talent is lost to other industries.

So, what can be done to foster emotional well-being? Here are some trainings to share with your team:

1. Help Staff Understand Guests

First, help staff better understand the most common experiences your guests are living out daily on the other side of the front door, phone call, or chat exchange. They may have the misconception that travel is always fun and even glamorous. Get them thinking about all the frustrations that guests experience prior to arrival and how that impacts their mood when they first check-in.

Get the team thinking about how stressful it might be for the person responsible for planning a family get-together, trying to keep everyone happy, or the lofty expectations guests have for their vacation that often come crashing into the brick wall of travel related delays.

While leaders often say, “Don’t take it personally,” further training fosters a deeper understanding of the fact that guests, like all humans, are emotional creatures.

One model we use is to ask them to imagine a roulette wheel, but in place of the number typically seen, each spoke has emojis representing different guest personas. Remind them that sometimes the roulette wheel is bound to stop on the face of difficult people. The good part is that we always get to spin again! Ask them to consider how many guests they encounter during any given shift—do they really expect them all to be nice?

2. Empower Your Staff to Resolve Issues

Next, make sure your staff is entrusted with the powers they need to immediately resolve common complaints. Sometimes the delay in finding a manager causes the guest’s anger to build like the steam rising in a teapot on a hot burner. Provide them with a list of common issues along with typical solutions, plus a list of whatever “above-and-beyonds” they can provide, such as sending an amenity, or an Uber Eats /DoorDash gift card to guests who have experienced unusual challenges. These cost a lot less than later comping a night when a guest’s temper has exploded on social media.

3. Train Staff to Not Ruminate

A third training concept is to help them break the habit of ruminating on negative guest encounters. Unless they have taken a psychology course, they may not even know the word ruminate means to repeatedly go over the bad situation in our minds, reliving the emotional duress each time we re-imagine that situation or retell the story. Sure, it’s fine to vent to a co-worker, but too many of us make the habit of retelling multiple people at work, and sometimes even at home!

4. Make Sure Staff Knows You Support Them

Finally, make sure your staff knows that you have their back when extreme bullies attack. Have clear red lines that guests are not allowed to cross, such as using personal insults, slurs related to racism, sexism, or ageism, when they drop the “F bomb.” Roleplay what to do, such as to provide a stern warning such as “Mr. Kennedy, I am doing my best to assist you, but I must insist that we have a professional conversation or I am going to need to end this encounter.” Make sure they know what to do when that red line is crossed, such as bringing in a manager or calling local law enforcement.

By training your staff in these ways, they can be a lightning rod for guest negativity. While most everyone knows what a lightning rod is, not everyone knows what one actually does, and those who do can see it really is a great model. We’ve all seen lightning rods sticking up on rooftops, but not everyone notices the large cable that runs from the rod, down the side of the building, and we certainly can’t see that it runs deeply into the ground. When lightning strikes, it stands tall to attract the energy and then dissipates it harmlessly into the ground. In exactly this way, properly trained staff can be ready when guests with negative vibes approach, receive that “strike” of negativity, and walk away unaffected and unscathed because they are prepared with the proper responses, proper actions, and, as importantly, with the coping skills to maintain mental wellness.

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